Mis-Adventures in Porn.

Years ago I heard tale of the AVN awards.. Basically the Oscars for Porn.

"I would like to thank my Mother for my shitty childhood and 'Uncle' Joe, without them this wouldn't be possible."

I was slightly amused at the thought.. now I live right here in the land of Miss America Pageant and the home of Porn awards.  Not just the award show... but a whole weekend of an over-priced expo..

We got our tickets and thought what a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon... The people watching is going to be awesome!

Off to the Hard Rock we go!

Pulling into the almost full parking garage we notice a large amount of Utah plates..

Maybe they are here for the Rock-n-Roll?

Following the trail of cheap cologne and dudes walking funny, we find the entrance to the Expo..

The place was packed! Men everywhere.. back packs filled with cameras and photos of their favorite stars private parts, ready to be signed...

Like this but more fun..

I don't know what we expected.. but all the fun was deflated by the over crowding..

So many people.. so many determined men..

Here is a sample of what we saw.

I think she was in Pulp Friction

You can't make this up.. these guys are seriously discussing this DVD 

Ouchy.. Really?

Got to have pole dancers at this sort of gathering!

Every geek and freak had a camera.. big nice expensive cameras.. 

There were toys for sale and display also!

There were some toys and displays that are just a little too graphic for this blog.. Hard to believe I know!

This Bitch has seen some abuse!

I say she has about 6 months left and then she just falls over.. exhausted from it all.

The place was crazy crowded..

The fun was is the people watching..  Old guys in wheelchairs.. old women in wheel chairs.. young punks.. couples.. some old guy in chinos and spiked heels....then crowd became too large. It was beating down on us and we felt we had to run for our lives..

Hey that's another kind of convention.

Lesson of the day... Porn is much better in your house, behind closed doors.. hold on to your shame and stay away from the AVN....