What's that buzzing sound?

Anyone who has talked to Mom in the past week, knows that Chester the Molester paid her a visit.
He tried to sell her a bed... a $5,800 dollar bed that cured all ailments that the senior set might encounter.
(She just wanted the free pillow that was promised for listening.)

This bed will make you live for ever.  And cure all bowel troubles..  (Old people like hearing that.)

He was giving her the hard sale... she wasn't having any of it..

So like any good sales man, her decided to try the creepy approach.

Let's try some sleeping positions... off to the bedroom.

As Mom was telling the story, this is where I wanted to hold my head.. 

So it wouldn't explode..

He actually thought that having her lay in on her bed, pillows propped just so and *Gasp* a hand held vibrator would get him the sale.

(Simulating the effect of the $$$ bed he was hocking.)

Yes a vibrator.. a innocent muscle relaxer.. what did you think?

I really don't know what she said about the vibrator. I blocked it out, like all those freaky church memories I suppress from childhood.

Needless to say. That bed was not bought. 

Not here anyway.. Even when the price was eventually cut in half.

And the more Mom thought about his unethical sales pitch and demonstration, the more we all know there is a nasty e-mail or phone call being composed in her head.  It will happen.

She can try anyway.

Fast forward today... a suspicious catalog arrived in the mail... the kind that targets the older set

Overpriced crap.

This is my personal favorite useless prize

But that is not the part that made my tummy turn.. it was when Mom yelled out..

'Why am I getting a catalog with VIBRATORS???'

Truly I was thinking the 'back massagers'...

Really its for my sore muscles.

Nope I was wrong.  So wrong.. tucked in the pages of feel good vitamins and ankle supports there was this...   

I won't display the pages.  Just know that this is your warning, click at your own risk... and think of Mom looking at this and giggling.

http://www.feelgoodstore.com/cgi-bin/feelgood/cate_id/shewommas/item_browse.html

Strangely her first thought was, which one of my kids put me on this mailing list???

I think that if anyone of us set her up on a mailing list it would be more blatant than a Feel Good sketchy health store catalog..

I place full blame on Creepy Sales Guy... 

So remember... a free pillow can really cost more than its worth.